January 25, 2003
January 18, 2003
January 11, 2003
January 4, 2003
2002 Results
2001 Results
2000 Results 

Hello, wrestling fans. This week I'll recap the February 1st results and happenings of EWF wrestling live from the EWF Arena . This week you'll read my notes from the show, we'll cover what direction EWF is going, and other happens from the EWF Arena.

I arrived early at the arena around 6:00 pm Saturday night, and was surprised at the line of fans (Nearly 100 of them) who were already at the arena waiting patiently for admission. I made my way through the line got to the snack bar, got myself a EWF t-shirt a Mt. Dew a and a box of gummy candy and found my seat.

The announcer got to the booth at around 5 till 7:00 pm and announced everyone's favorite "Zebra", Referee Jeff Landis would be the man in charge of the action tonight, shortly after we saw the debut of a new wrestler at the EWF arena. "Rent-A-Cop" A.C. Parker came out to the ring with a mic in hand and verbally bashed the home crowd of Marion. Calling us all fat slobs and such. I personally think I'm pretty dead sexy though.

As the "Rent-A-Cop" rants on, he claims he's disgusted by one certain superstar in the EWF locker room. he says "This man is a walking freak with a rubber chicken" , Just as "Rent-A-Cop" was blabbering on, Snake dives in the ring and attacked him from behind, this started our first match. Snake made short work of the man in blue and destroyed A.C. in quick fashion and was our first victor of the night.

The crowd looked surprised and completely stunned that Snake ripped thru the "Rent-A-Cop" in all of 2 minutes tops. I sense a rematch coming on here soon. No self respecting "Rent-A-Cop" lets a vandal get away that easily!

In our next match of the night, we see Kaos come out to some nice heat (boo's) from the crowd. Does anyone like this guy? It sure as hell doesn't look like it! Then out comes Real Deal Christopher Steel . Now I know it is cold weather, but why in the hell was Real Deal wearing a sock hat? Receding hair line? No, he's not that old. Maybe i'll have to book him for an interview soon and find out the whole "hat" story!

On to the match up. Both wrestlers used some very nice but basic moves in this match. Typical hard chops to the chest, ala Ric Flair style! Some nice "Hulk Hogan" perfected leg drops and a couple suplexes. Nothing too exciting, but everyone hates Kaos enough that it made a decent match. In the end, Real Deal got the pinfall.

The crowd was still kind of quiet at this point, but things were about to change quickly. After a quick music mishap, which i didn't mind because i was too busy "Getting my groove on"; we finally get to hear the wonderful Redneck sounds we all love. Dukes of Hazard music, Rebel flags and big belt buckles! Sadly no trailer park women or rusty pickup's. Anyhow, out comes the most hated redneck, Hank Calhoun and his new little sidekick Confederate Kid.

The crowd sure got into this entrance as Hank and Kid got some nice heat. Just goes to show know one likes a redneck. Then "Disturbed" blasts over the speakers and out comes Ruin! The man who has recently come back after a 13 month layoff due to injury. The crowd didn't seen to know whether to boo or cheer him, or just flat out run away! Ruin looked to be pretty pissed off, or maybe he always looks like that. Hmmm, good question!

Meanwhile, across the ring, Hank Calhoun complains his leg is hurt from last weeks beat down by Hurricane. Maybe his butt was hurting too since Hurricane buried a big boot into it last week as well. Who knows! After a good 3 minutes of hearing Hank Calhoun and Confederate Kid whine and cry, Ruin and Hank finally lock up. Hank took the early lead with some power moves and Ruin was trying to shake off that ring rust. Ruin dug down deep and finally knocked Hank to the outside of the ring, where we all got to hear Hank whine and cry some more about his poorly injured leg. Oh boo hoo! Cry me a river Hankie!

Finally Hank gets back in the ring only to shortly after take his aggression out on Referee . The poor Ref. Why do people always pick on him? Confederate Kid mustered up the guts to interfere in the match and both Hank and Kid put a beating on Ruin. Then the big man, Hurricane ran out to a huge pop from the crowd and attacked Hank Calhoun and Confederate Kid and helped Ruin get to his feet. Ruin and Hurricane worked over Hank and Kid, and whipped the two Rebel Rednecks into 1 corner. Then we got to see the massive 420lb Hurricane deliver a HUGE splash onto the two Rednecks, which surely wasn't any "Southern Comfort". Hurricane saw his job was done here, and left the Ruin standing over Hank.

Ruin showed his power on the beaten-down Hank Calhoun, and setup a very nice diving head butt from the top rope. Ruin hooked the leg and grabbed the 1-2-3 WIN! Ruin then headed back to the top rope and delivered another diving headbutt to Hank Calhoun just for good measure. I sure as hell don't want to meet Ruin in a dark alley anytime soon! Ruin thanked the crowd and the man upstairs, and left Hank Calhoun and Confederate Kid in the ring. Hank and Kid finally recouped and made their way to the back with a earful of boo's from the crowd. Good match all in all, and the crowd seemed to like the return of Ruin.

We then took a short, but badly needed break for about 10 minutes. By this time I was about to pee my pants from all the Mountain Dew I was drinking !!!

After my break to the little boys room, we returned to see Confederate Kid come back out with his Rebel pal Hank Calhoun. If these Rednecks could add Daisy Duke to their lineup, I might start to like them! Then out comes Kid's opponent, Pheonix! Phoenix still looked a little banged up from last weeks war with his former best friend, Anarchy. God that was a great match by the way!

Pheonix and Kid started their match with a nice quick pace. An awesome first, second & third rope moonsaults sequence by Pheonix which he calls the "Trifecta". Confederate Kid was on the short end of the stick this entire match until Pheonix went for a pin and big Hank Calhoun decided Referee Jeff Landis didn't need to count the 1-2-3 and pulled him out of the ring. Meanwhile, Pheonix hits an awesome running shooting star press, no ref, no count . As Pheonix turned to see where the ref was, Confederate Kid ran behind with a quick power-move prompting the ref to make the 3-count, Hank Calhoun held Pheonix's legs down from the outside out of view of the ref. . Pheonix got the screw job, but cleared the ring of Hank Calhoun and Confederate Kid quickly after the match. After the match Hellraiser ran out from the back to a HUGE pop from the crowd, and laid out Hank Calhoun on the outside of the ring.

After the brawl cleared out and the wrestlers made their way to the back, we started up the next match of the night. For the EWF BMF title none the less! That's Bad Mother Funker for those of you not "IN THE KNOW" ! Big Cheez, with a loyal gang of followers in the crowd came out to some mixed reactions from the fans. Some love the Big Cheez, some don't. I just like my GOVERNMENT cheese! Then out comes the Silent one, Anarchy! He looked to be favoring an injured leg from last weeks battle with Pheonix. I'm surprised that after that war, that's all that was hurting on him!

Anarchy, the EWF BMF Champion, loved by the crowd climbs into the ring and walks the ropes and climbs up on the rafters as usual. He seems quite at home perched up there. Is he looking for prey up there? Or does he just enjoy the view? Regardless, he sure as hell wasn't affraid to jump down into the ring and get things started with Big Cheez. Big Cheez has a nice size advantage here and showed it early on by flexing his muscles on Anarchy. Anarchy, with his sadistic smile, flexed his guns back. Big Cheez's followers in the crowd sure loved that! Big Cheez used his power again and tried to powerbomb Anarchy, but to no avail. Anarchy countered with a very nice Hurricanranna, taking Big Cheez with him over the ropes to the outside of the ring! Both men fought outside the ring, with Anarchy getting slammed onto the concrete.

With a 10 count near, both men made it back into the ring, and battled back and forth. Anarchy finally got Big Cheez on the mat and yelled to a man in the crowd to pick a number between 1 and 10. The man said "3", and Anarchy proceeded to give 3 nice stiff kicks to the midsection of Big Cheez. Soon after, Pheonix hits the ring and all hell breaks loose again! Then the Real Deal hit the ring In the mix of it all, Anarchy gets the win, but even more importantly, Anarchy and Pheonix, who got into a totally wild match last week, were shocked by the owner of the EWF when he announced to them that even though their hate for each other is obvious, since Pheonix came down and interfered in the match causing Anarchy to win and since real deal interfered as wll he was booking a special tag match tonight ! It would see Real Deal & Cheez -vs- Pheonix & Anarchy Oh my god, this is going to get good! And you can bet your butt it did! Anarchy looked to be in some pain, and his leg was obviously still bothering him when he left to go to the back.

Next up on the card was our EWF Heavyweight Title match. Pitting Jack Hammer versus Ryan Paradise. Last week Jack Hammer had remarked that he could beat Paradise in 10 minutes or less, so this week he has only 10 minutes to do so to get the EWF Heavyweight Title. Out comes the challenger, Jack Hammer to one of the loudest pop's (cheers) of the night. My question is, where's the beer???? I miss the Coor's Light or Ice House!

Then out comes the EWF Heavyweight champion, Ryan Paradise to nothing but a crowd full of haters. Ryan was without his lovely "Ho's" this week, and without the aid of his monster bodyguard for hire, Chizel. This didn't stop him one bit though, as he started working the arm of Jack Hammer in the early stages of the match. Hammer got the edge on Paradise and started to hit with some nice power moves and weaken down the champ.

Ryan Paradise routinely rolled out of the ring and verbally abused the crowd. Once back in the ring, Jack Hammer hit him with some stiff punches and weakened the champ down even more. Jack Hammer went for a pin, but only got a 2 count out of it. The two men battled back and forth and Paradise hit a nice Missile Dropkick from the top rope and went for the pin. Paradise, being the cheater he is got his legs up on the ropes for extra leverage, but Referee Jeff Landis was smart to it and stopped the pin count on 2. This enraged the crowd and they started chanting "Cheater, Cheater". Paradise wasn't happy with the fans remarks, and Jack Hammer got the upper hand once again with about 1 minute left remaining. The crowd was totally behind Jack Hammer and started chanting "Jack Hammer, Jack Hammer".

With only 30 seconds left in the match, the crowd was hot! Paradise missed a 5-Star Frog Splash from the top turnbuckle, and Jack Hammer made a nice counter. With only seconds remaining, Jack Hammer went for a pin, but it was too late. The 10 minute time limit expired, and Jack Hammer was disappointed by the announcement that this match was a DRAW.

The crowd pleaded for just 5 more minutes, but it was not granted. Ryan Paradise is still the EWF Heavyweight Champion.

Now we get our special main event of the night, Big Cheez and Real Deal to take on former best of friends and worst of enemies, Anarchy and Pheonix!

With Big Cheez and Real Deal already in the ring, Anarchy stood at ringside while Pheonix sat in the front row refusing to team up with him. Anarchy looked to care less about tagging up with Phoenix as well, and while Phoenix finally got to his feet Real Deal proceeded to pull him into the ring. The match finally starts and Phoenix was getting worked over by both Big Cheez and Real Deal, but he battled back and hit some super sweet moonsaults and went to tag in Anarchy who stood on the apron in the corner barely watching the match.

This made Phoenix furious! He began yelling at Anarchy, and tagged him in. Not by a slap of the hand, but rather a slap to the back of the head. Anarchy came in and appeared to still be bothered by his injured leg. Big Cheez and Real Deal took total advantage of it and hit some awesome moves together on Anarchy. Anarchy was Super Bulldogged by Big Cheez and this totally devastated Anarchy. Real Deal and Big Cheez got the win, and Anarchy layed out cold on the mat.

The show ended, and the arena started to clear but Anarchy was still laying on the mat. He looked to be clinching his neck. As I stood near, you could tell he was in severe pain and laid there basically motionless. Very scary. After about 15 minutes or so, Anarchy slowly got up and was helped to the locker room. I'm surprised his head is still attached to his body. That Super Bulldog he received was vicious.

Now on to some interesting tidbits! Think about these for a second or two:

Will Snake ever loose his mullet or quit "choking" his chicken?

Aren't Kaos' tights kinda dorky? Or is he just a dork in general?

Whats the "real deal" with Real Deal's sock hat?

Do Hank Calhoun and Confederate Kid really live in a trailer park?

Doesn't Ruin look like one bad ass mo-fo?

What kind of cheese does Big Cheez like ?

How badly injured is Anarchy?

What can we expect from Pheonix and Anarchy now? Are they friends again or still bitter enemies?

Ok, now here's just a little bit of info i've overheard in the EWF Arena.

A member of some Itallian "FAMILY" , may be coming to the EWF soon.

I heard something about a Toga party? Sounds like a sure fire way to have a good time EXTREME STYLE ?

I saw some chain link panels and some steel poles in the locker-room last night what type of contraption is this meant for ?

I heard EWF has some "Big plans" for the very near future, but it's unclear what this is. All i know is that the gossip is off the hook!

I hear that coming soon the EWF ARENA WILL SOON BECOME INTERACTIVE WITH LIVE VIDEO FEEDS AND A INTERACTICE "RPG" (Roll playing game) Where you can compete as your favorite EWF Stars in fantasy warfare.

Becoming aware of the "anything can happen" situation in the EWF i'm wondering exactly what will...err I mean would happen if the EWF had a PPV.

Something is going down in EWF, and I'm determined to find out! Tune in next week for another complete wrap up of the Febuary 8th show, some more news and notes and whatever dirt i can dig up! Thanks for reading!